Lonely Vacations!

Here i am once again!!
IT'S VACATIONS!! PARTY!!!!
But darn, how i mis school....
Through out schooing days i've been expecting the vacations to turn up asap. No I feel I wish I had school. Extra classes and loads of sums to finish off within a week.
And I'm not getting permission to hang around with my friends, coz
1. I'm not studying hard enough (well not studying at all)
2. Country situation is going from bad to worse.

Lonely!! Damn Lonely!!

Wish I had a girl friend.....
But then again like others say Love is painful... Which I've seen, and i know quite a bit about the painful side of it too. Being lonely without anyone who is close to you, is HELL! But if there are people around you and you still feel lonely, i dunno what to call that. People say everyone has the so called "LUCK" around them. And so far i havent felt anything called "LUCK" around me. Not even a small percent. I wanted the so called luck for my O/L's, Love and at least my AL's, which turned out to be a disaster. SO this something proves that some people dont have the so called "LUCK".

"I reach but I feel only air at night. Not you, not love, just nothing." (Evanscence)

I look myself on the mirror, and then say to myself who are you?
Not everyone is true to each other.
I feel that all the people around me are being selfish, except me. Why? I simply havent got an answar for that yet. May be I think I'm too kind hearted, and cant say "NO" if anyones asks for a help or a favour. Which my mom calls stupidity. I cant help it. I trust everyone. Mainly my friends, whom sometimes take advantage of me and give lame excuses, when i'm in a severe need for help. Some betray by leaking secrets here and there, but wanting there secrets to be untold.
Some even say that i'm rude or mean!! What for? For saying stuff like that!!
I see no rudeness by telling something to a persons face. It feels very odd to go talk behind the persons back, and its worse than telling stuff to the face.
Why do i mask my self to people and smile at them when i feel like crying?
Why does a humans brain work so complicatedly?
Why are the people whom are close to my heart, miles away from me?
I wish that someone tries to answer these....

"Don't Leave me here, by myself, I can't Breathe." (Evanscence)

And one thing i know for sure is that GOD is still keeping me down here coz, he knows that he might be in great trouble if I get there upto him.....
Publish
The lower I'm kept, the Better for him and the other above!!